Successfull dating is not that hard
Finding the love of your life on the internet these days is as usual
as finding him or her at work, in a bar or at your sportsclub. You can
meet people of all kind of ages, having a variety of jobs, religions
and backgrounds and living in any possible part of the world. Online
dating can be a useful instrument to explore your dating options, as
long as you're cautious, you look before you leap and you plan some
smart and secure meassures.
Who you are
Lets have a look at who you are, not at who you want to be. Ask yourself
what is so special about you, which details of your past have shaped
the person that you are now, who your biggest inspiration was.
Besides that, think about what you really want from a relation. What
did you learn from previous ones? What are you looking for now? Why
would you be a better pick than the others? Why would someone be interested
in you?
All questions that you should consider before diving in the world of
online dating.
Your profile
Your nickname
To allow some anonymity, it's better to use an alias instead of your
real name. This way colleagues or old friends can not make fun of you.
You can choose a first name that sounds similar as your own. Note that
"Tarzan" or Superman" are not the best names to choose,
neither are "Teddybear" or "Tiger". Names that insinuate
such as a name with '69' or 'hot' in it are bad choices too.
Your picture
Uploading a picture will generate 15 times more hits than without a
picture on your profile. Smile and don't hide your face behind sunglasses
or wearing a hat. Potential partners will want to see your natural face.
Make sure your pictures do not suggest that you're an easy catch by
wearing too little.
If you're submitting a picture with more people on it, then make sure
that you're the only one looking in the lens or make sure you're on
the central place of the picture. Webcam shots demonstrate that you
didn't want to spend time on the picture. .
Your headline
It's cliché to tell people that you love candlelight and long
walks on the beach. Everyone does. It's better to tell them for example
that you love pooring rain (if you do) or give them an idea of what
you're good at. People will stick on your profile a lot longer if your
attracting their attention by telling something new. It also works if
you put a piece of a song that you enjoy a lot in your headline.
Don't make the mistake to point out that you're completely new to dating,
don't excuse yourself for a bad quality picture or the short text about
yourself in your profile. Also don't ask people to write you, remember,
you're on a datingsite, so it's obvious that people will write you if
they're interested.
What you are looking for
Beware of the pitfall when you're asked to explain what you are looking
for in a man/woman. The other will want to be appreciated the way he/she
is. What the colour of the hair or eyes should be might scare people
away that you really would like to meet.
Make no spelling errors
They give a bad impression. If you're not sure about the spelling, use
a wordprocessor with a spell check function. If you're allowing typo's,
you seem to not care about what you're doing and you may only attract
people that do not write the best themselves. Make your story sound
smooth and don't yell by using capitals.
Answer every mail
If you receive a message from a member, answer it. Even if it's just
by saying "No thanks". Other members will appreciate honnesty
more than ignorance. Think about it, if someone on the street greets
you, you'll greet him back too, no? If you receive too many messages
to deal with, then you may want to make your profile more specific.
Contact
Create a mailadres for dating only. If you're asked for an address,
don't give the exact details. Keep conversations playful at start, and
do not immediately give all your personal information away to someone
you've just met. If the other asks for a telephone or address or workplace
too soon, be suspicious. Stalking has happened frequently. If you're
planning to meet, then first make contact via the phone.
Phone
Women get a lot more attention than men, because the number of women
on all datingsites is a lot lower than the number of men. As a man,
try to distinguish yourself from the other men on the site. A man can
better give his number than to ask for the number of the woman. A woman
will be encouraged if you're showing that trust by giving her your number.
As a woman, if you're ready to talk to the other over the phone, be
subtile. If you're nervous and unsure, just ask yourself if you can
imagine to have a drink with the man. Don't immediately focus on the
long term as that is what will make you even more nervous.
And if the person you're about to talk with over the phone has his/her
number hidden, then ask if you can have their number to call them back,
because you can never be sure enough before diving in the deep.
Beware of liars
There are liars, fakers and cheaters in every chatroom on every forum
and thus on every dating site. If you're talking with someone that keeps
putting off sending a picture, then get out of it. Chances are that
the person is not what he/she pretends to be. He might be 30 year older
than he said and she may be a lot younger than her profile shows.
Online fantasy
Keep in mind that the anonymity of the internet makes it easy to keep
up appearances that are not totally real. Also stay cool and don't let
yourself be taken away by someone as what you want the person to be
in your own mind may have become your own view on him/her. Don't wait
too long to meet for real because your image of the person may be a
lot prettier in your mind.
Patience
Don't let yourself be discouraged because of a couple dissappointments.
It can take some time to find the person that you really like. If you
feel that meeting eachother is the last piece of the puzzle that you
want/need, then you're ready for it.
Following this advice will make your online dating experience work!
Have fun!
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