The social worker complex

Get this, he is not in love with you or with her, he's in love with his own tragedy. He can't think further than his own misery. He does not have a job, is not looking for one either. His bankaccount is always in minus and he often is a little 'sick' ... although nothing serious.

"... If you're sick, he'll forget you promptly ..."

If you need some care and assistance, he's never there. If you're sick, he'll forget you promptly and will live with another woman that can't bear living alone, but he's not really attracted to her. He is attracted to her money and her house yes, it's just too bad that he has to take her on top of it. Just until the woman wakes up and he has to move his boxes back in the caravan of his aunt.

"...Most of the time he was just laying in bed thinking how everything could be different if only ..."

He can be a she as well. These type of people can be male or female.
A friend of mine had such a friend. Her desperate, philosophycal friend managed to consumed the little house that she bought from her parents completely. He had the wildest ideas, big big plans, and everything failed because he never was giving it his 100% attention and energy. Most of the time he was just laying in bed thinking how everything could be different if only .... It was so said that nobody believed in him or understood him. Nobody saw what a big artist and talent he was and that was the reason why everything he started with failed.

The most tragical part of it was that everyone he had met in his life had been soo unfair to him. Being unfair because they did not really contact him anymore after a while. It didn't occure to him that he wasn't really the most pleasant human on earth, and you could not count on him. Oh yes, it happened that he wasn't able to be on an appointment with one of those guys, there was oh so little place for feelings in this society, everyone was running from here to there ... .

A lot of women are attracted to these type of men, but at the end, the desperate look in their eyes ain't that 'cute' anymore.

Helping someone out is fine, but keep it within limits and don't loose yourself in it.
The vage and helpless person may be the stone hanging on your nect. It will not feel like that at start, he's really a cute nice guy, but after a while you'd be happy not to find his bathrobe between the bedroom and the fridge. Because you're living together already, you'll go out more often.

You're the faithfull type and feel sorry for him. You've met another man and he is in your mind more than you want. This guy does not complain and does not suffer from life that much. he also knows what he wants and has a good sense of self discipline. Really, this is a lot more exiting.

"...if you really want to be the social worker, buy a puppy..."

it doesn't matter whether you're male of female. It also does not make sense to complain about the months or years that you've spend on a person that basically only absorbed what you had to give but did not give anything in return. It is more important to start thinking about why you became that social worker type. Was your mother there to rescue your father as well? Were you forced as a kid to take a lot of responsibility perhaps too early? Where are the roots of your 'social worker complex'? Are you to the rescue of people because you never were really rescued yourself in the past?

Try to get out of this destructive spiral ... and if you really want to be the social worker, buy a puppy .... it will give you a lot more satisfaction and it's fun.