Naturally Attracting Great Men
Here’s a crazy but fascinating idea I want to share
with you…
By Christian
Carter
Why are some women naturally attractive to men and make the
guy want to stay around them no matter what they do. Even
when they act bitchy, hard to deal with, etc...
While other women, no matter how great of a person they are,
just can’t seem to attract good men and find great relationships?
No matter how hard they try.
Why is this?
No… It’s NOT that the naturally attractive ones
have all the good looks and it gives them an advantage over
other women.
There are great looking women who fall into both categories
- women who are naturally attractive and interest men long
term, and those who just can’t seem to keep a good thing
going with a man no matter how hard they try.
Sure, it doesn’t hurt to look good. But the reality
is that looks are just one way to attract a man… not
the best.
If you think that the attraction a man feels for a woman
is all about her looks, think again.
You’re mistaking one thing for another.
Sure, it happens all the time that men see women who are
very attractive and become interested.
But looks are NOT what drives things any farther than the
“caveman response” for men.
I call it the “caveman response” where a guy sees
a woman he finds physically appealing and wants to be with
her JUST for that reason.
Then he acts on those feelings and gets involved with the
woman without really thinking any farther ahead than his desire
to be with her physically.
Men are idiots sometimes. And sometimes we just don’t
think about what we’re doing.
So I’ll go out on a limb here and guess that this isn’t
what you’re looking for, right?
You don’t want to date a caveman.
Good. So let’s put the idea that looks are really important
out of your mind.
Looks really only work to get a man physically interested
or entice him to approach you, but they have little to do
with WHY a man ends up with a women in a loving and committed
relationship.
You might think I’m crazy after everything you’ve
seen and done in your love life, but it’s true.
THE SELF-DEFEATING BEHAVIOR OF LIMITING YOUR SUCCESS WITH
MEN TO ONLY PHYSICAL ATTRACTION
I’ve noticed something common going on with lots of
women who are physically attractive.
Things often come easy to them, especially when it comes
to meeting men.
No big discovery there.
But here’s the thing I find fascinating…
The women I know who are physically attractive usually have
a HARDER time finding a good guy to settle down with than
women I know who don’t have men oogling over them all
the time.
In other words, the women I know who aren’t approached
by men as often are usually better at identifying good men
from bad men.
And they’re better at creating the right environment
and situation for a future relationship.
What’s going on here?
It seems kind of backwards.
I’ve been thinking more about this lately and I’ve
started to recognize a pattern.
For women who are physically attractive, in a strange way,
being attractive becomes the very thing that holds them back
from learning how to create the kind of attraction that goes
beyond just how good they look to a man.
Let me explain…
Some women are used to getting a man initially interested
by triggering what I call his “caveman response”,
so they think that this is what works.
Short term, yes, this does work.
If you’re just interested in a one-night stand, then
feel free to use your looks, sexuality, etc. to attract a
man.
Sure, if you pique a man’s physical interest, it’s
a relatively easy way to go about it.
Men, as the predictable animals they often are, usually respond
to this on some level.
But here’s the tricky part about lots of men… the
kind you’d actually want as a boyfriend or something.
When a man responds to physical attraction, it can lead women
into thinking that they’re going about getting close
to him in a way that means that there’s a future in it
with him.
But then it happens…
The guy ends up saying something like, “I’m just
not looking for a relationship right now” or “things
are getting too serious.”
And instead of falling in love, the guy doesn’t develop
any real or deep connection with the woman and doesn’t
have a growing desire to be with her in the future.
And here’s what usually happens next-
Tension and trouble starts to build as the it becomes more
painful for the woman that she’s shared herself with
the man and feels emotionally open to him, but he’s not
reciprocating.
And in the woman’s mind, this can be painful and frustrating.
Instead of recognizing that a strong dynamic was set in motion
by attracting a man with the “caveman stuff”, the
woman thinks that there’s something wrong with the man.
So she goes about trying to fix him or convince him that
he should feel or act differently with her.
And here’s where women get a dangerous false belief…
That the connection with the man that was created from the
physical attraction meant something else more serious for
the man.
Physical attraction alone will NOT make lots of men interested
in something more serious, loving or long-term.
But lots of women think that the physical attraction will
magically turn the caveman to thoughts of love, nurturing
and the future. The thing is… attraction, feelings, and
emotions don’t make logical sense, and most men just
don’t work this way when it comes to ATTRACTION and LOVE.
So you can’t talk “sense” into a man and expect
him to be connected and emotionally engaged the way you as
a woman might be from the start, just because there’s
a lot of physical attraction and chemistry there.
It’s a losing battle.
But lots of women still try and fight this losing battle
by arguing and telling the man that he’s wrong to feel
how he feels.
Unfortunately, going about it this way only makes things
worse.
Telling a man how he should feel doesn’t work.
Actually, it 1,000 times more likely to push him away or
make him withdraw the way men often do.
“INTELLECTUAL ATTRACTION” AND WHAT TO DO INSTEAD…
Physical attraction will only get you so far with a man -
like just getting physical with him.
For lots of women, this is the easy part.
But what about everything else beyond the physical?
What about the emotional connection, the commitment and the
longer term bonding?
What about LOVE?
What can a woman do with a man to take things beyond the
more basic physical attraction and start to create situation
with more of these long term things?
There is a way to actually have HIM thinking about how to
have a more closely connected future with you… and even
talking to you about COMMITMENT.
Imagine that.
Well, action speaks louder than words with men when it comes
to these things.
First off, all men have a bit of caveman in them. Some more
than others.
With men, there’s another area that some women know
how to naturally attract and connect to.
And it’s not the “inner cave-dude”.
The women who are naturally attractive, who men seem to just
fall for, know exactly how to tap into this other area of
a man’s mind that makes him instantly more “available”
and interested in something more serious.
I call connecting to this other area of a man “Intellectual
Attraction”.
And if from the beginning, a woman triggers both physical
and “Intellectual” attraction in a man, then going
from “Hello” to “I do” can be 100 times
simpler and relatively stress free.
But if you’re one of those women who likes to use your
good looks or sexuality to get involved with men, or to get
quick and easy attention because it feels good to you, then
I’ve got some bad news for you…
Just being good looking or seducing men with sexuality isn’t
going to cut it long term with any guy who has his act together.
Unless you’re the luckiest of lucky people on earth
and you find the rarest of all rare animals - a man who knows
what he wants, knows that he wants it with YOU, and is READY
for it now.
In that case, you can let him do most of the work and enjoy
every minute knowing that everything will work out.
But this isn’t how it is for 99% of women.
There’s got to be “intellectual attraction”
along with physical attraction if you want to catch a man,
keep him, and avoid all the painful and dangerous trouble
spots along the way.
If you don’t know how to attract a man, other than using
your sexuality or your looks, then two BAD things are likely
to happen:
1. You’ll attract men who are just looking for another
pretty face to be with. A “player”.
2. The player will move on to the next pretty face once the
novelty of the physical attraction starts to wear off.
I know it SUCKS!
Men can be shallow and heartless.
How does it make sense that a man could be with a woman but
not involve much of his heart or feelings?
But this is the frustrating and unfortunate truth LOTS of
women out there experience.
And it’s obvious that these kinds of situations don’t
happen because women don’t have more to offer.
But men aren’t as emotionally connected with their hearts,
minds and bodies like most women.
Physical attraction is the thing that they end up paying
the most attention to.
Some men just don’t know much about how to experience
love with a woman and open up.
So they get themselves into situations where they hurt women
because their heart and mind just weren’t as involved
in connecting with a woman as their bodies were.
LEARNING ABOUT INTELLECTUAL ATTRACTION… AND AVOIDING
THE “DOING WHAT MAKES SENSE” COURTSHIP BEHAVIOR
Here’s good news and a fascinating idea to think about…
For the rest of us in the world who aren’t supermodels,
what you know about good looks represents something amazing
that some women just don’t get.
You DON’T have to be rich, famous or on the cover of
Vogue to attract a man.
But….
You DO have to learn about ATTRACTION and how it works.
And that’s where most women fall painfully short.
Learning what naturally attracts a man could mean the difference
between easily connecting with the guy you’re into and
taking things to the “next level” quickly and smoothly…
Or getting stuck in that frustrating and lonely love “slump”
where you just can’t find any guy you connect with and
all the guys you seem to find end up to be nightmares.
Don’t you hate that slump? It can be pretty lonely.
I’ve seen lots of women in this stage of their love
life. And inevitably at some point when the frustration of
not having the joy and fulfillment of a great partner in their
life starts hits the hardest, they go to a pretty negative
and pessimistic place.
They say things like, “What’s wrong with men?”
Or they start to believe deep down that there’s something
wrong with every man in the world and that they’ll never
find the guy for them.
Tough place to be, huh?
Know any women in that place?
Ever been there yourself?
I’m asking because it has a huge affect on everything
a woman does around men.
This attitude is like attraction repellent to a man.
And even if you don’t say much, a man can sense this
attitude in the way you hold yourself, your tone of voice,
how you interact with other men, what you do in your social
life, etc.
So then what is naturally attractive to men if it’s
not about looks and just being nice and sweet?
Well, I’m glad you asked.
Let me tell you some FASCINATING things about men…
Just like women do, men need to find a way to identify a
good potential partner from all the other women out there
and all the women he already knows.
So when he a man sees a woman do something that he recognizes
as predictable or boring that most women do, it’s like
she instantly becomes every other woman he knows that he’s
not interested in.
It’s an almost instant and unconscious thing that happens
in the man’s mind, and she becomes “just another
woman”.
And there’s neither physical or intellectual attraction
going on here.
These kinds of attraction come from less predictable behaviors,
especially if they’re done or communicated in a way that
says that you see yourself as equal or higher STATUS as a
man.
You might be asking, “Why does it have to be so complicated
with men?”
Well, if it’s any consolation, it’s NO DIFFERENT
for men with women.
In fact, that’s where I first started seeing this fascinating
process of people using what I call the “doing what makes
sense” courtship behavior.
I kept seeing men trying to convince women to like them and
having terrible outcomes, even though what they were doing
made total sense to them.
Ever had a guy you didn’t really like buy you gifts
and flowers and call you all the time?
These are nice predictable things to do, but they sure didn’t
change how you FELT, right?
I’ve watched some men shower women with gifts and attention
from the start, call them every day and share all of their
deepest feelings of love.
And even though the guy was being generous, loving, caring,
etc. instead of making the woman attracted and interested
in him, it actually worked like “woman-repellent”.
The predictable and boring things the guys did, even though
they were being generous and loving, just didn’t work.
It’s kind of a freak show really.
But doing these things makes “sense”, right?
I mean, it makes sense that we should tell someone when we’re
interested in them if that’s how we feel, right?
And if we like them, then we should be generous and do nice
things for them, right?
Well - yes and no.
Yes, do these things that make “sense” if you want
to stifle the attraction that a man could be feeling for you
and break that magic “tension” going on between
you two at the start.
And no, don’t do what makes sense if you want to find
a better way and use the opportunity of the physical attraction
that’s going on to actually AMPLIFY the level of attraction
the man feels for you.
I know, I know. It doesn’t make sense to us and we’re
taught that communicating our feelings is always the healthiest
and best thing to do.
I get it. And to do anything else would be “playing
games”, right?
But if you’re like lots of women I know, then for one
reason or another, when you’ve shared those deep feelings
for a man early on, and you’ve asked him to reciprocate
your feelings, it seems to have had the exact OPPOSITE effect.
The guy seemed to withdraw, he isn’t as affectionate,
he avoids seeing you as much, etc.
In my eBook, I talk in detail about how to trigger more physical
AND intellectual attraction in a man - without being one of
those manipulative game-players and without feeling like you’re
the one doing all “the work”.
I mean, who wants to feel like they’re doing all kinds
of things just to get a man’s attention!?
And why should a woman do all the worrying and the work?
Well, you don’t have to try so hard… IF you learn
the simple and “natural” ways to attract a man and
get close to him.
Then you’ll be triggering the attraction responses in
a man that will have him more involved, available, and he’ll
start pursuing YOU.
And you’ll get to avoid the difficult place of feeling
stuck with an unavailable or non-committal guy.
He’ll be the one chasing you - which I know is a better
place to be… and lot more fun too.
Inside my eBook I talk about how men view women and relationships,
and how you can learn to use more of the “Intellectual
Attraction” to get a man wanting to get closer to you…
instead of YOU trying to do all the “heavy-lifting”.
I describe in detail how to build an irresistible level of
attraction using your communication, your body language and
your “non-verbal” communication.
All these together will send strong but subtle psychological
“cues” to a man, and it will consciously and subconsciously
work to peak a man’s interest in being with you now and
well into the future.
Go here to check out the details: Catch
him and keep him.
Thanks for reading, and I’ll talk to you next time.
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