THE DATING GAME: To tell the truth, it's better than a lie
By: FRED GONZALEZ
A single guy's life has plenty of surprises along the way,
even during the holidays.
Take, for example, my friend Steve.
Single all his life, he had been friends with Marissa for
about three weeks when she told him that she was having to
move out of her apartment.
Her roommate was leaving and the landlord had sold the place
(how he managed that in this current market, I have no idea,
but good work!).
Steve, doing what most decent guys would do, offered Marissa
his guest room for a couple days while she looked for a new
apartment.
She had some leads, so it didn't seem like it would take
too long for her to find a new place.
In the history of man, how many times have guys extended
this offer to buddies and brothers? It seems like it's in
our DNA. Whether it's a dorm room or an apartment we share,
guys go by a mantra -- "Mi sofa es su sofa."
So, Steve figured, how different could it be if he makes
the same offer to a woman?
"Crash at my place for a couple days. We're both in
our early 30s, everything will be fine," he told me,
recounting the conversation.
So she stored some of her moving boxes in his garage, put
her suitcase in the guest room, and began her search for a
new place.
On the second day of her stay, Steve's mom came by for a
visit and dropped off some Christmas cookies she had baked.
Mom met Marissa.
Marissa offered a surprise gift.
"Did Steve tell you? I am moving in with him,"
she said. Steve had himself a squatter six days before Christmas.
This obviously was not what he had in mind, but he rolled
with it. He certainly didn't want to end up on Santa's naughty
list for kicking her out before Dec. 25. But he admitted that
things became stressful after she had announced her intentions.
"It was weird to be living with and always be around
someone 24-7 and not really know them that well," Steve
said. "It was strange leaving my house or going to work
and knowing someone was there and I didn't know that much
about them."
Was Steve thinking he would return and all his stuff would
be gone? Was he becoming paranoid?
"No, I just felt like our friendship was becoming stressed,"
he said.
So on Christmas morning, after they exchanged some gifts,
he told her just that and asked her to move out.
She took the news better than he expected, acknowledging
that she understood where he was coming from.
Steve took a gamble on open and honest communication, and
it paid off. Some guys would have gone out of their way to
create a situation to get her to move out. Others would have
packed her bags, placed them outside and changed the locks
on the door.
But by going with the truth -- the brutal truth, like guys
are used to expressing between themselves but not necessarily
with women -- things actually worked out fine.
In two days Marissa had found a place in Kendall, moved in,
and then returned to Steve's house to celebrate his birthday
with him. He even took her up on her offer to be the designated
driver for the night.
That's the kind of surprise any single guy can roll with.
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