Why Attraction Isn't The Same For Men And Women
From: David
D.'s Dating Advice at aLoveLinksPlus
To learn the Cocky & Funny dating technique, the ability
to read body language and how you can use these skills to
attract women, then I HIGHLY recommend that you check out
my downloadable online eBook "Double
Your Dating".
Men are more attracted to the physical, and women are
more attracted to the personality.
David D: I'd like to talk about a concept that is rather
difficult for most men to "get".
Ironically, it's a concept that's rather easy to understand,
but because it's so illogical and "counter intuitive"
it's also easy to miss entirely. It's understanding what attracts
women sexually.
And what I'm about to share with you took me literally YEARS
to figure out... even though it was right in front of my face
the whole time.
When I first decided to get this area called "Women
and Dating" handled in my own life, I did what I think
most guys do... I THOUGHT a lot about it, I READ a lot about
it, and I ASKED a lot about it.
I've spent a lot of time studying psychology and human behavior,
because it fascinates me... and I figured that all of my understanding
about how people worked would really give me an advantage
in this quest I had started.
And since I think I'm pretty smart, I figured that this would
be something that I'd get figured out rather quickly.
Well, what a humbling experience I was in for.
As I soon learned, it's not easy to solve an illogical problem
by thinking about it logically!
In fact, now that I know better, I think that ATTRACTION
is rather logical... it's just that how it works is so UNEXPECTED
that it SEEMS illogical. But for now, let's just use the term
"illogical" because it forces the mind to put aside
pre-conceived notions of what "should" happen.
As I was trying to figure all this stuff out for myself (and
keep in mind, I had no idea that I would later write a book
to help others) I kept running into challenges.
It seemed that every logical thing I did just didn't work
in a way that made sense.
One of the biggest mistakes I made was ASSUMING THAT ATTRACTION
WORKED THE SAME WAY FOR WOMEN THAT IT DOES FOR MEN.
It only made sense that since men are attracted to looks
and sweet personalities that women should be too... right?
So, of course, I tried to work this angle by wearing nice
clothes, doing nice things for women, and being the NICEST
guy you could ever meet. I was accommodating to the extreme.
I would do whatever a woman wanted, and basically accept whatever
flaky or manipulative behaviors she used with me.
But since none of that stuff seemed to really help at all,
I just kept coming to the same conclusion:
I MUST NOT BE ATTRACTIVE ENOUGH, GOOD LOOKING ENOUGH, RICH
ENOUGH, OR SOMETHING ENOUGH.
I was doing everything I could imagine to be a nice, sweet,
great guy... but women just didn't seem to respond to me in
a "sexually attracted" way...
"It must just be me that's the problem" I thought.
Well, fortunately for me, I'm not one to quit easily.
I stuck with it, and I finally did something that had a PROFOUND
impact on my personal success...
I MADE FRIENDS WITH DIFFERENT GUYS WHO WERE "NATURALLY"
SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN AND I WATCHED WHAT THEY DID.
When I think back now, I think to myself "DUH!".
But it REALLY made a huge difference.
By watching different guys in different situations as they
interacted with women, got phone numbers, went out on dates,
and even made "physical" moves, I learned a lot.
What really fascinated me was that these different guys,
who in many cases didn't even know each other, were doing
EXACTLY THE SAME THINGS in many cases.
And the REALLY mind-blowing part was that the great techniques
they were using were "no big deal" to them, and
therefore had never been organized and taught in the "main
stream".
By imitating what I learned from these new friends, and by
getting their help, all of a sudden my success began to SKYROCKET.
I mean big time.
I went from barely being able to talk to a woman and get
her number to having 3 or 4 dates a week.
It was great.
But there was a problem...
IT STILL DIDN'T MAKE ANY DAMN SENSE TO ME!
Even though I had more "game", and better techniques...
and women were responding better to me, things still didn't
"feel" quite right.
I didn't always get the same results when I did things with
women. Now, you'll never get 100% consistency with anything
in the real world, but it was just TOO inconsistent most of
the time. And even worse, women would either fall in love
with me quickly or not call me back after the first few dates
most of the time.
I knew enough to be dangerous, but not enough to really,
really understand what was going on.
Well, fast-forward to now.
In the last couple of years, I've written a book, produced
seminars at both ends of the country, released a comprehensive
advanced CD/DVD program, and generally spent a lot of time
teaching and refining this material.
A major benefit that this has provided me is the ability
to explain things better and faster... and I'd like to give
you a quick explanation of a CRITICAL aspect of female sexual
attraction that, once you understand it, can literally change
your life FOREVER with women.
Here's the revelation:
Men are more attracted to physical traits, and women are more
attracted to PERSONALITY traits.
Men get sexually aroused and "turned on" instantly
at the sight of a young, shapely female body. As a man, you
know that this process happens instantly and "all by
itself", meaning you don't really have a choice in the
matter.
Well, WOMEN get sexually aroused initially and "turned
on" when they interact with a man that has certain QUALITIES
and PERSONALITY TRAITS.
Women become instantly turned on sexually when they are in
the presence of certain personality traits, just like men
become turned on by certain physical traits... And the good
news is that any man can learn these traits and integrate
them into his own personality.
Think about that for a moment.
Men become turned on by what they can see. Women become turned
on by what can NEVER be seen.
And even when it comes to the physical, women are still more
interested in the HOW than the WHAT...
It's not as much his body as the way a man holds it and carries
it.
It's not as much his voice as the way a man uses it.
Do physical looks, money, fame, power, height, age, etc. play
into this at all?
Of course they do.
But they're not NEARLY as important as most men think they
are.
If you're tall, handsome, rich, and famous... great. You'll
probably have an easier time attracting women. But just watch
the tabloids... this can open the door for a guy, but it doesn't
at all guarantee that the woman will stay around. There are
a LOT of rich, famous, powerful men who still have no success
with women.
To sum up...
Attraction is different for men than it is for women. While
men are attracted mostly by physical traits, women are attracted
mostly by PERSONALITY traits. Women don't decide who to feel
attracted to with their logical minds. They "decide"
with their emotions, and then make up reasons and rationalize
it.
ATTRACTION ISN'T A CHOICE!
This is why some men attract women so well, while others
don't... and why ANY man can improve his success with women
DRAMATICALLY, no matter what his looks, age, or income.
I want you to think about what you've just read, and pay
attention when you're out watching men and women interact.
Start noticing those things that men are doing to attract
women that are related to their PERSONALITIES and their COMMUNICATION
with women. You'll see things you've never seen before, and
learn secrets that will improve your success with women tremendously.
And if you'd like an introduction to my main concepts and
to learn the basics of how to be more successful with women
and dating, then go right now and download my eBook "Double
Your Dating". It comes with three bonus booklets that
are INVALUABLE and CRITICAL to your success with and understanding
of women. It's all at:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ - just follow the 'ebook'
link and download your copy. This book and the three bonus
ebooks that come with it are the FOUNDATION for success with
women. Everything you read in these articles will make more
sense once you have read the book.
...and read it, learn it, and use it.
Talk to you soon,
David D.
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